Apparently the Tamir Rice lack of indictment is a trigger of sorts. I must have PTSD. As Sharon Allen pointed out, this clearly is an issue of police training as well as an issue regarding the value of Black life. Here are three major life changing episodes that really force this internal conflict with me and American law enforcement.
Circa April 2000: I didn't have the code to my aunts home as I was going there to preform computer maintenance. With the alarm blaring, I'm not concerned; I go fry a bologna sandwich. Police come to the sliding glass door with guns drawn. The officer place their gun to the base of my skull and I explain as professorially as possible what happened. Moments after the situation was defused, another officer comes in aggressively, wanting to play T.J. Hooker.
Circa July 2010: It's night time and JR and I are at the gas station. I have no plastic and I have to pay for the gas with cash. JR who then was four was sleep and I didn't want to wake him. Two police officers are at the gas station and I ask one if he would look after my son as I would go in to pay for my gas. His reaction was, "I am a police officer, not a baby sitter." I was stunned. I wanted to go off, but to do so would be a no win and an exercise in wasted energy. Luckily the other officer said I'll do it.
Circa 2011: I was in a state of panic. My ex at the time was not well. She had come to the house in a state potentially threatening to her, myself, and our son. I go to the police station and explain that there is a potentially serious safety and medical emergency in the making. When I finally talked to one officer, her body language suggested that my concern for the safety of my son and myself really was a nuisance. Well, a week later, after JR was taken from day care without my knowledge, I call the police as I am trying to find them.
I share these episodes to make a couple of points. 1. We need good honest police officers who understand that crime prevention is just as critical as solving the next big case. 2. My experiences (and note my experiences should have no influence on any of you) lead me to conclude that the value of Black men in the eyes of law enforcement only has salience in matters of criminality. Black men (through the eyes of law enforcement) are viewed as perpetrators or as individuals who have a greater propensity to become perpetrators of violent crime. If Black men are seen as victims, they are victims because of their own undoing. (One who lives by the sword, dies by the sword: Justice by Karma) This myopic perspective is only fueled by politicians who exploit (in my opinion) the symptoms of an exponential larger dynamic of those who have been economically marginalized. That said, it is equally important to realize that market driven media and social media for that mater are also complicit in this skewed perception social construction of reality. Regardless of the degrees and credentials we have; regardless of the prep schools we send our sons to, until there is a national effort to restructure law enforcement, Black folk, (and I may have some who unfriend me) will be viewed as prey.
