Richard Pryor and And his take on Equitable Distribution of Property

Divorce and separation without doubt is no fun. However, the late Richard Pryor had the uncanny gift to take life’s tragedy and make you laugh at it, even if it was at his own expense. That said, I am happy to announce that I have not practiced any of his divorce coping techniques. Note to brothers who may read this: You can think about it, but please, God please, don’t do it. Here’s how he navigated through the tough issue of what divorce attorneys call, the equitable distribution of property. When he was going through his separation/divorce drama, and his wife tried to leave him, in the brand new Cadillac, he bought for her, he said this to his soon to be ex spouse, “The only thing you [are] going to leave here in, is them hush puppies you rolled in here on.”
To prove the point, he got his brand new, chrome plated, 357 Magnum. Took aim, not at her, but the car. Pulled the trigger, the hammer came back, and click, the bullet races from the chamber, tearing the V8 engine out of the car. If car engines could talk I’m pretty sure it said, “OHHHHHUUUGH! Damn man! What the hell did you shoot me for? I ain’t done shit to you man! That shit is tween you and her! What the hell do I have to do with it! I ain’t had shit to do with it man! Come on Rich, DAMN! I thought you and me was tight. You bought me off the show room floor, cash money! And you do, this, to me!” Of course there is no telling what drugs brother Richard was doing at the time. He said it felt so damn good, he shot the Cadillac again! By this time, I’m sure the car said something like, “F*ck you Rich! You Black Mother F**(&)ker! I hope they roast your black nuts in hell!” In case you’re thinking, no Richard Pryor’s Cadillac does not have the voice of KITT from Knight Rider, no his car probably sounds a lot like Max Jullian from The Mack. Of course, in the end, the L.A. Police Department came to his residence and promptly took him to jail for killing his Cadillac. Again, if the car could talk, it would probably say something like this, “That’s the mother f#$%#er that did it. No damn her, lock that damn nigger up for premeditated Cadillac homicide. And I hope your black ass gets the damn gas chamber, high-test!” But of course in the real world where real people do go to real jail, Richard rationalized the fact that it was best for him to voluntarily go into police custody. You see, the LAPD have Magnums too. He stated, “they don’t kill cars, they kill nig-gars.”