I now understand the inside joke. Man, do I ever understand the inside joke... Starting to now realized that I actually may complete this Ph.D. project, I now have come to terms with why the "Intellectual Noir" refuse to work at the HBCU. I thought I only had issues with White Folks but when it really gets down to the nitty gritty, the manifestations of White Folks can easily bleed into the hearts and minds of the disillusioned HNICs at the HBCUs. For those in need of translation, HNIC means Head Negros In Charge. Two words--Pay Check!!!!!-- When this episode happened-- well lets not call it an episode lets call it what it really is--yet still keep it clean-- A Complete Overt Act of Jackassary- to my wife, I laughed. Part due to the fact that I saw my wife go through a change of sorts. For two days straight, I heard the words, Pay Check. Ironically there was this stupid movie out there with the same title, Pay Check starring Ben Affleck. According to Dr. Wife, for her to obtain a quasi healthy response, she had to evoke the politics of rapper, DMX, "Yall gona make me loose my mind, up in here-- up in here." Here exact words, in the payroll office were, I cannot work under these conditions. Being as supportive as I could, I tried to make the best of a bad situation by being there, consoling her but needless to say, consolation has limited currency in the grocery store check-out line. When I got my first gig as an adjunct, again at an unnamed HBCU, I was told on the day when I expected to be paid that, adjuncts were paid only twice during the semester, October and December. What was even worse was that I was told, after I made an emergency request for a pay advance that the emergency funds would come from the traveling monies linked to the football team. This was supposed to be the guilt factor at work. Shaking my head and saying-- this is an anomaly, it cannot be the rule, I took my issues of the disparate conditions of the HBCU to members of "Intellectual Noir." Because I am a Marxist at heart at least, Democratic Marxist to be more specific, I posed the question of intellectual partnership with those behind the ivy leagues and the HBCU. The reactions were startling. Cornel West responded with the matter of course load volume. "You don't want to see cornel west @ 4:00 on Friday afternoon after three classes." He added that as he is a strong proponent for social justice, he strongly doubts if officials at an HBCU would want to hear that he is in jail for exercising civil disobedience as opposed to teaching his classes. Lastly, he did mention the issue of student quality. If he asked students to read 200 pages by the next class meeting, they would read possibly 500. I didn't want to believe it. That said, I have to reflect back on comments made by Michael Eric Dyson, when he said, I can't work for the HBCU simply because they pay the "Negro Rate."--- Sad but true. After teaching a session of summer school and being paid on the 12 month calendar, life is like a damn circle. I am starring in the sequel to Pay Check called Pay Check II. There is not catchy subtitle just the continuing saga of an HBCU employee attempting to be paid what was promised. GRIPE ALERT:!!!-- This is where I start bitching.. If you don't want to hear the griping-- please stop now... To me this is damn stupid but it completely adds justification to the statements mentioned by Dyson and West. To me there is not wonder why talent, not saying that I am an independent one man think tank, can't stay at the HBCU. Unfortunately, here is where our students really loose. Granted our students, (this is regardless of color but more economic standing) are eager-- damn it they have a thirst to learn. They need not only to be spiritually fed but academically and intellectually nourished. It is hard to do that when the people who are in charge isolate themselves from the realities of their workforce-- us of the professorial proletariat. When I think about the economic disparately and the negligent resource inequality-- I am beginning to question the realities gained by Brown Vs. Board. Then of course there is this human factor. Like Prince said in Pop Life, Everybody Needs a Thrill, Pop Life, We all have a space to fill, Pop Life, Everybody wants to be on top.. When we seriously think about it, that song by itself is a somber metaphorical discourse on capitalism within our country, let alone a statement of the working conditions many of us experience. The politics of the HBCU-- in a post modernistic period boils down to the preverbal crabs in the bucket. No more are we (academics and students alike) concerned with the transformative component of what the university symbolically represents. Many of us--Gen X and Gen Y view the university through the lens of quid quo pro-- this for that. Meaning, I did my time, I paid my money, so I get my degree and I am supposed to have a place in the world where I make 40K easy. Sad but it took me 9 years of hell to realize that anybody can have a job, but true living comes from embracing what you love-- in my case, it’s a relationship with the Creator, My Family, and of course Media and its discursive effects. I am motivated by social justice, change, and advocacy which is why part of me feels that the HBCU still has a purpose but is in a critical state of disrepair. Right now, the HBCU is on life support and even rats know when to leave a sinking ship. I really can understand the laments of West and Dyson and even others. Its difficult to intellectualize when you have to wonder about is my university fiscally sound or who has gotten an acute case of the ass to screw with payroll. ---- NOTE Griping is now over-- It was funny when Dr. Wife saw me attempting calm myself down. We were going to see two movies this weekend, The Incredible Hulk and Wanted. Da Wife noticed my breathing pattern and was astonished that I knew how to breath palates' style. "Have you ever taken palates? I mean you are doing so well." My response,
"Baby, upper middle class white folks call it palates. I'm just trying hard not to assault anybody that's all."
"How about I treat you to a movie, lets go see Wanted."
"Does it have anything to do with revenge?"
"I think so."
"That's out."
"What about the incredible hulk?"
"Isn't that the one where Dr. Banner needs anger management?"
"I wouldn't put it like that but yeah."
"Cancel that one too-- I might be driving a white ford bronco if I see that one."
Strangely, after taking some calm down medicine I went to see that one. And funny as it may seem, I saw myself in the movie. Not the monster or the Hulk but as Dr. Banner who was meditating and to the side had some text saying number of days since last incident--incident meaning the hulk out. I think I am at 2 days since last incident.
