10 years ago, I was 27 and on suspension from my job at the north Carolina school of science and mathematics. Every time I think I have moved beyond the incident (well the whole experience), something just pulls me back in. I guess it was reading one of my previous postings regarding the White warewolf. Strange, but the experiences I have had with white women, ironically have left me either damaged or emotionally scared in some way. As I recall prior to this time ten years ago, there had been a series of incidents which my heinous supervisor had documented unswervingly well. Its interesting how she somehow failed to remember my emails and calls for help when I needed her. The situation by this time had exacerbated to the point where I was not knowing which way was up. Earlier, in the fall of 97 when my office mate Robin left, things just started happening rather sequentially. Before the opening of school, I was trying to prepare myself to step in position because Robin was making a little bit more money than me in her position as an educational media specialist. Simply put, didn’t happen. I had to manage, coordinate, and orchestrate audio/visual technical services by myself for pretty much 4 months. As I was attempting to do this, I was making mistakes with no room for error. Another interesting point in my life around this time was that I was starting to really see my grandfather as mortal. Earlier in 97 he appeared to be robust and loud as ever. But in April of 97 he had his first in a series of cancer operations which literally left pieces of him in the hospital. In the fall of 97 he had yet another hospital stay for a mild stroke. One particular afternoon I was to pick him up from Chapel Hill and take him back to his home in Palmer Springs, VA. I had made arrangements with Diane the day prior to so that we could best coordinate the schedule for any equipment that needed to be delivered. The next day, I arrived a bit late, I spent the night with my grandfather and the drive back was a bit more than I expected. As I came into my office area, there she was waiting and fuming.
Do you know about the set up in Hill 19?! When you said you were going to be late you didn’t say you would be this late Russell! I mean this one just tried to scold me with everything including the kitchen sink. I was 27 and I didn’t really know what to do other than apologize profusely. Later that day she launched into me with another tirade. Again, not knowing how better yet, not fully equipped to address professional harassment by a superior, I bark back. At the age of 27, I am going off to the principal’s office like I am 15. These types of verbal attacks continued all during the fall. In fact, Diane had the situation stacked so well against me, that I had my first, in a long series of written warnings/reprimands. From the tone in her writing, it looked as though I was public enemy 1 through 100. I was marked for coming into work late, poor job performance, unprofessional conduct; I was even cited as a suspect for a missing laptop computer. The computer went missing from my locked office, never mind that everybody including Jesus had a key to my office. This incident of course went so far to the point where I was threatened with having to take a lie detector test. Guess what, those were just the coming attractions. The full feature started in 1998. By this time there was some temporary help, who was instructed only to help Diane and everyone else but me. So again, I am set up to fail. Great. There was one situation where a student failed to return a piece of equipment and in doing so caused a big problem for the academic programs side of the house. This of course had me in the middle of a one legged butt kicking contest. The student and I had words and sure enough, this incident found its way to Diane. So now the evil incompetent bitch is going to try to hang me with hearsay. She even went so far as to beg the student just to make up crap. He didn’t. Enough incidents had racked themselves up to the point to where she felt she had enough on me to really preasure me out of my job. Sure enough the first strike was on the way. An administrative assistant to the principal passed on to me that there was a meeting scheduled with me himself and Diane. In the back of my mind I suspected this was not a meeting for a promotion. Something told me to just be prepared and ready to accept what comes. The next day, I entered the meeting business professional dress and just allowed them to both just virtually pour manure all over me as they attempted to soil my credibility and break any and all spirit I had. It was quite an emasculating experience to say the least. It made me feel that all struggles my family, hell even I went through, were moot and insignificant. I had a masters degree, being grossly underpaid, shoveling shit and taking it all at the same time. The end result of the meeting was a two week suspension without pay. Though I had not been fired, I had been put on notice. Two weeks, out of work and no pay. I had obligations, car, rent, and so forth. Eventhough it was a shitty job, it still was a job with benefits. What was I supposed to do. I had to surrender my keys be out by noon that day. After I made my way out of the building, survival instincts kicked in. I don’t know what inspired me but I kept all the documentation of the meeting and proceeded right over to the NC Office of State personnel where I immediately got a crash course on my rights as a state employee. At first I was alarmed by the cavalier nature of the human resources rep assigned to my case. As I explained everything to her in it’s unabridged entirety, she asked me simply when do you want to go back to work? What do you mean I thought. She pointed to me an interesting piece of personnel procedure which stated before one is suspended for any length of time, you have to be given some type of warning to prepare for a pre disciplinary hearing so that all the facts could be gathered. From her view, with special attention to the date of the letter received, the decision for me to be suspended was made before any pre disciplinary conference. My goose was cooked well before I walked into that meeting and because of this lack of due process, the suspension would be reversed and they could not touch my money. So in essence, what I got was a two week paid vacation. However, I did the intelligent thing and established a serious relationship with the want ads. I tried to have a little fun with this vacation; I ceremoniously walked back into the facility with one week to go and personally deliverd the letter stating exactly what the OSP advisor instructed. I wasn’t too haughty because I didn’t want her to get too wise and usher me back to work only to finish what she tried to start. I chilled. Didn’t move and tried to return back to work with as little fan fare as I would allow. Now needless to say, Diane was a real coward because when the HR director instructed her to strike the suspension from my record and not to touch my check, well she tried to say that she really didn’t want to do it. It was more of a wake up call for me with the intentions of being therapeutic. Right, more bullshit. Looking at this now, I have to say Diane was the dumbest and possibly the sneakiest white folk I ever met. As she would smile, in her demented mind, she would always engineer a new mouse trap for me to field test.
