Smiling Faces

I've seen enough Tom Cruise movies to know what to expect with out even paying for them. It's pretty much the Carey Grant, in North by Northwest where he's on the run. With Tom Cruise, there is more physicality. The basic formula is this; one you have a good guy who demonstrates some heroic deed. Two; somebody has set him up. Three; he goes on some heroic quest to clear his name. Four, he finds justice some how and vindicates himself. Five, Tom Cruise goes on some media press tour to say, I've done a new film in new way. Don't believe me, go watch the following movies: the firm, the first Mission Impossible, Vanilla Sky and Minority Report. In at least three of these films the classic theme is "they set me up, they set me up." Pretty much that leads to my Tom Cruise moment. The difference is that Tom is white loaded with money and a life of fame where as I am black, loaded with debt and a new bitchy boss. It was the start of a new academic school year at SM. I know it's science and math, but more and more I see it as a plantation where the S and M mean slave and master. My grandfather is just recovering from his second cancer surgery, this time cancer of the esophagus. The relationship between me and Diane somehow took a nose dive and I am still trying to figure out why. My office mate, Barbra made it very clear, the honeymoon was over. So here I am, suddenly by myself running an audio visual department for a highschool without my partner, Robin, who was really instrumental in helping me get the job in the first place. Science and Math really was a place of premadonas. When I first got there, I was awe struck because from what was said to me from day one, NCSSM is not an ordinary place. Everyone was the best of the best. A top gun for high schools in North Carolina, spawning off nationwide extensions of itself. To be among them, I felt privileged. Of course this wore off once I realized that NCSSM was a smoke screen for overprivilaged white folks and folks with some degree of power. This to me was really made evident after my episode getting my boys off the chopping block. That episode really lulled me into the fantasy of truth, justice and the American way. That mantra worked for white folks and of course interplanetary aliens from Krypton. Us American everyday negros still had to settle for the hog malls of equality, fairness and democracy. My life was made rather interesting that fall and it all started with one laptop computer. My department LIT@COM was attempting lean itself more to information technologies and doing so we would loan technology based hardware. We acquired an IBM ThinkPad laptop for faculty to check out. Not a real problem except you have one laptop and 60 screaming faculty all who want the damn computer at the same time. Now remember, these are premadonas so nobody's need is more important than the individual who wants it at that particular point in time. Not a real problem because we have a circulation system and it's first come first serve unless the head white man in charge wants the computer and then, bang the world stops. The laptop must be found, re-acquired, and then given to the head white man in charge. The laptop was housed in my office. My office had two ways to get in, the hallway door, which I frequently used and the main library entrance which I really didn't care to use. Previously Diane began to have issues with the time I was coming to work. I lived in Garner, NC at the time and I would usually get to work at about 8:15 because Durham was two cities away and traffic in the morning wasn't the easiest thing in the world to navigate. Hence my 8:15 arrival. Additionally this was further impeded upon with my grandfather being sick in Chapel Hill. He was at UNC and we, the family, would alternate turns on when to go see him. One afternoon I told Diane that was going to visit my grandfather and I would be a little late getting in to work. I said to expect me in at about 9:30 to 9:45. She indicated that it wasn't a real problem. That same day, the laptop computer was in my possession and I placed it in my office in the cupboard where I normally had placed it before. OK, there is where you can start the Tom Cruise meter. The following morning, I arrive at work at 10:00 AM. Immediately I am summoned into Diane's office.
"What time is it?" she scolds,
"Ah 10:00, I realize I'm a little late."
She continues in like a circling shark,
"You said you would be here at 9:30." I am begging to get a little nervous because her tone is making me uneasy.
"I thought I said I would be her between 9:30 and 9:45. I'm 15 minutes on the outside of that, is that really a problem."
"I had five people come looking for you this morning, three of them said you had equipment reservations for them. I couldn't find what they needed and their classes were blown!"
"Diane, I don't remember any reservations with anybody. I'm sorry if you couldn’t find what you were looking for. What did they need?"
"It doesn't matter now, you were supposed to be here at 9:30! You weren't here!"
"Diane, I don't think I like you yelling at me like this, I made a mistake and"
"I'm not yelling! I am making a point. You said you would be here and you were not! People were looking for you and you were not here!"
"Diane," by this time the conversation had become heated to say the least, "My grandfather is sick, I told you yesterday I was going to visit him at UNC and I would be late. I'm sorry about what happened but I'm not going to stand here and let you yell at me about that, excuse me." and then I left. No real issue or so I thought. A few moments later she came back to where my office was and tried to offer an apology, but by then she could have been Jesus and I would have closed the door in her face-- no slam meant on the lord. About two hours later, she is in my office, looking over my shoulder at my computer. Not liking prying eyes, I cut the monitor off.
"What were you looking at on the computer?"
One of my famous faux pas, never let people know what's on your mind, especially if you haven't had time to censor it first.
"Today you have been acting a little off your rocker, what is wrong with you?"
"I would like to see what was on your computer!"
"Diane, it was nothing, absolutely nothing."
"Then why did you cut it off?!"
"Because I don't like people spying on me nor looking over my shoulder at my computer."
"You will cut that machine on right now and let me look at it mister." Freeze. This is where we have one of these Matrix moments. I have to stop the action and explain what is happening her for any white readers. In my mind, or any black person's mind for that matter this directive has just removed me from the category of human being to "sit ubo sit, good dog, woff woff." If you really want us folk to cooperate with you, this is the sure fire way to get the opposite effect; hence my point. The surge protector was located right under my toe and mysteriously it just flickered.
"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly, did you just tell me what I was going to do or ask me?"
"I told you."
"Well I'm sorry, I'm not going to do that unless you ask me politely." Now admit, I have some damn nerve, talking to my supervisor this way but respect is on the line and I was told never start something you can't finish. In this case the inverse is true, never allow disrespect to start because then respect is much harder to gain. She hit her hand on the door.
"Fine, we'll just see what Dr. Warshaw has to say about this."
"Great!" I exclaimed, "I'll follow you." In my mind, everything was already accomplished, she didn't look at my computer and hell I felt I could speak my peace about all the shit that had been going on that day. Boy was I in for a rude awakening.
"Russell, you've got to respect Diane, she is your supervisor. Diane you are in charge, try to be nicer to your subordinates." Again on the way back to the office, another phony ass apology. Well, by the end of the day, something came up missing, the laptop computer. Where was it? How did this happen. Great, on the day that my boss and I have the day of days the laptop gets missing. This is weird… But I go and tell Diane.
"Missing, how did it get missing?"
"I don't know, it's gone. The doors were locked."
"Well you better find it."
Wonderful, I have a bitchy boss and a missing laptop that was locked in my office. This is all too coincidental. This was no theft per se but more so a walk in snatch and grab and specifically that item. Of course any detective work I would do would be looked at with skepticism. In fact our own resident Kojak showed up trying to sweat it out of me.
"It's kinda odd Russell, that laptop being locked in your office and now missing."
"It is odd isn't it, including your insinuation that I had something to do with it. Hell I gave up my own laptop computer case which I have now lost."
"I don't understand it Russell. It's going to be kind hard if we don't get that laptop back."
"I hope you find the person before I do because I will crack their back if I get to them first. I'm no thief"
This went on for the rest of the day until Diane called me in her office again.
"Russell, I'm going to ask you one more time about the laptop."
"Save your breath because I told you all that I know."
"I am going to look into a polygraph test and everyone is going to be asked to take it."
Freeze… This is were I learned from my previous mistake, I didn't say what was on my mind but I failed to mention anything about physical demonstration. No I didn't smack her-- but
"Ok, with that said, I'm going home good day." some how the door had a harder thud when I closed it. Like cliché, something fell.
"Did I do that, Oh well, I don't know my own strength."
This polygraph thing was just a little too much. When I told mom about it, well lets just say she was not too happy.
"What's the bitch's number, I'm calling her right now."
"Ma you can't do that!"
"No that bitch can't do that, she can't threaten you with some damn polygraph test, that shit is illegal."
"Ma please don't call her, please."
"No! Normally I don't interfere with your professional business, but this is one time I make the expectation. I am not calling as your mother, I am calling as a member of NAACP. Did she talk to anyone else about the lie detector."
" I don’t know."
"Give me that damn phone."
Next thing I know, my mother is on the phone calling my boss everything but a child of God and I have to see her tomorrow.
"Russell I'm sure you know your mother called me."
"I know and I am sorry about that, I tried to prevent that as best as I could."
"I wouldn't force you to take a test like that but we have to get that back."
"Diane, yesterday was a bad day. I am willing to move forward if you can, I'll do my best to keep my noes to the grind stone."
"OK" and I left.
There is a song by the temptations called smiling faces. Leaving that office, slowly the message of that song was resonating with me. A few days after the incident, I found out that no one in the office was informed of taking a polygraph test. Additionally there were numerous people on campus with a key to my office. The laptop had not been stolen, in fact I think some administrator may be typing away at it right now. In short, I was Tom Cruse; somebody set me up. The who was pretty clear, the why was what remained. In the days that followed new locks were issued were issued on my office. A 200 pound safe was acquired where the new laptop would be housed. Only library staff and I knew the combination and from now on I was ordered to come in the front door like everyone else. A temporary replacement was acquired to fill in for Robin but strangely he was not there for me, he was really there aid Diane also keep a watchful eye on me. Oh and by this point, I was given something new in my personnel file, a written warning for poor job performance. Like they said, smiling faces