Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

Looking for Mr Goodbar  
I don't know to this day what that movie was about. However, during this holiday season, I have heard more than a bellyful of my aunts bellyaching about brothers and how they have now completely divested themselves of dating black men. Being a black man, I was somewhat offended. I came from a black man, he came from a black man, hell I am a black father. So as anyone could tell, I am somewhat vested in the species of black men. Now granted, we do have our faults. I will be the first to admit that. Sometimes we are non committal, we have issues managing our money, employment is not our traveling companion. I buy that.  That said, as I have said before, if you are looking for an instant husband and the man hasn't had the best role models, chances are the sis may come up a little short. If the stats really are true, that there is a crisis of black man, then mathematically there should be a stockpile of Other men for my aunts to date. By Other I mean, native americans, Latinos, Asians, and of course white American men. Now of those I have listed, theoretically, the white American men, coupled with Asian American fall outside of the concept the deviant minority. The word deviant for this discussion represents a subjective meaning, especially from this bloggers POV. Society, be it the media, legal structures, or even smatterings of some lived experiences, have problematized native Americans, Latinos and of course us as some of the dregs. If I were of another planet, well another country, the images and moral panics linked to us would be more than enough to my great grandmother cry. As an African American man, I can only speak from that perspective. Simply put, we catch hell: societal inflected and more times than we'd like, self inflicted. Looking at ourselves, honestly and objectively, we may need to do somethings to re-image ourselves to be more appealing and attractive to our sisters.  One of the things I had to do first was accept the fact that I didn't have the best male models available to me. I accepted that in a non accusatory fashion, and in doing so I had an example of what I wanted to present to my son. If I want my son to grow into a man, then that means I had and still have to lead by example. This meant I had to get creative in seeking examples. I had to seek men in my circle, both black and white and wherever else. Deeper, the question of black masculinity had to be vetted. Did/does being a man mean having a fat pocket money wise? How about a job?  Isn't education supposed to be an equalizer?  These are things I have tried to maintain and achieve but again I have had challenges. If we look at the music and other signifiers of black culture make it plain. Blaxploitation heros from shaft to passenger 57 were sexually endowed, moneyed and had some means of income and operation, legal or illegal. TLC in their hit, No Scrubs made it pretty plain: if you live at home with your momma, if you walking, you are a scrub. Then of course, you got to have a JOB if you want to be with me. These texts can be emasculating if you really think about them.  When they come from a man, it's one thing, but from a sista, thats exponentially worse.  No if we wish to be perceived as men, viable men at that, we cannot allow ourselves to be measured up by hegemonic standards. At the same token, we cannot allow ourselves to surrender to substandard living. No we have to reclaim our masculinity in a manner that does not disabuse our sisters.  
Just my .02 worth.