Meetings w- The Cabinet

Today I talked with Shrink #2, this is the one who dispenses my medications.. I told him of the latest in my saga/mini series of transition and all he could do was shake his head. I had to tell him the simple truth, I AM TIRED. I mean I am mentally and physically drained. I thought would have time to actually write some meaning monologue but instead it looks like I will be engaging in some superfluous isht. Transition is a hard thing to do, especially when you feel like you are running on empty. I had to tell, my trusted white doctor-who incidentally I pay an inordinate amount of money to-- that man I am just woe out. I explained that one in my cabinet said, you are getting tired at mile two of 26 mile marathon. With other members of my executive cabinet, of course their reaction was FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. Sorry, I had to yawn. I had to take a little time to play some acoustical guitar on Itunes. For some reason that type of music relaxes me. Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer. Some reason I feel that song is well suited for my world right now..These are the moments where I actually allow myself a little time to wallow in the pool of self pity and mask the tears I have. I think that could be the reason why I went to the gym today. I had a week with little JR and to hear the innocence in his voice.. well it really just reminded me of what I really don't want for him. I don't like the fact that my home is somewhat fractured and he and aspen are caught in the middle. Thinking about what I am living with, as Shrink #1-the white man I pay inordinate amounts of money to to keep me focused during this transition-- I consider him pretty much my handler. He tells me that you must take the high road during this entire point of crisis. He says this is my personal cross I have to bare. There are sometimes I remind myself i asked for some of this but damn if I asked for there to be some type of emotional collision. They say there are no guarantees. I would love to actually find this "They" party and call them on some of the isht that has been going on in my sphere of what i consider reality. I mean this is some hard stuff I am going through.. Again another member in my cabinet, the Sectary of State tells me that damn it we are 40, this is what is supposed to happen at 40. The national security director is like bruh you gotta suck it up. Of it is hear where the Sectary of State says I am too cerebral. I feel kinda bad because I haven't called in the Vice President on this matter. I really came here (Barnes and Noble) to actually engage in some type of research on my dissertation but right now I feel that with the combination of me being tired and really just bummed out my ability to focus just aint happening right now. I got 6 months. I got six months to finish my dissertation so I can be called Doctor. Six months until I can go walk into any college campus and have them address me as Dr. William Russell Robinson. I guess the way it has to happen is that once I get the piece of paper, I then get the money, then I get the power, then I get the respect. -- OK so I lifted the line from Scarface, but thinking about things in the grand scheme-- I gotta make some things happen. I mean I have got to make the required money needed to support myself. JR and even my wife (regardless of status). I just think that is the right thing to do. So in essence I need to make a serious grip-- 100K easy. Some nebulous news occurred this week. I got a note from the department head of English and Mass Communications. He wants to meet with me. If I can crack that particular nut, I will be able to get the first 50K.. Then the other part I have to get my hustle on on the real...