White Flight From Birth

First, I'm on a bit of a high. Apparently my blog is getting some attention. I just got a tweet back from a producer at Nightline regarding my comments made on a recent piece they did about sistas complaining because they can't seem to find good brothers. If they do a follow up piece, maybe they'll consider me for an interview!!! Wishful thinking... Anyhow I've had this episode going on in my mind for the past few days so apparently, I need to write about it. Allow me first to put in some context. I like Sandra Bullock. I remember when she actually did a pilot movie for NBC back in 89 where she was to be the next Bionic Woman. Thank god it failed because she would not have won the Oscar. I didn't see the Blind Side but I loved her performance in Crash where I think she and Terrance Howard should have been nominated for Oscars. As for her choice in men, Jesse James...WOW I had no idea he was like a nazi. That kinda has me broke up, because I kinda liked his show--Jesse James is a Dead Man. Well I liked the title at least. But that kinda threw me. Which leads me to I guess to my question for the day. Is racism and white privilege something that is genetic or learned at birth? Here is the anecdote. Lill' Chief and I were at his spot, the Barnes and Nobel one afternoon for his after school cookie and the usual father son chat. I chatted while he just chewed while he chewed on his chocolate chip cookie. (alright so I have a flare for alliteration, sue me) I was so proud of him because he had a great day in school. Never let the wife know, but apparently watching television with your kids pays dividends. Now I am not too cool with him being a TV hollic. So I monitor the TV time and make sure for every hour of TV, he has at least two hours of reading or running outside time. -- Note to my single black dads out there!!!! Sit down at night and read to your children. Anyway his show (at least for the moment is wonder pets) where they stress teamwork. Picking him up from his school/daycare-- it really should be a mini university cause the tuition is just as much as the local universities- his teaches share with me that he stopped a disagreement with two girls who were arguing over a hula hoop. He instructs them that its better to use teamwork and sharing. Hearing that I was just like that is the best present any parent could have. Hearing that you child can demonstrate diplomatic thinking at the age of three is like whoa! He got this from wonder pets. A TV show, educational TV at that! Chalk one up for my side. My rule with him is when he does good, he gets perks. When he doesn't make good decisions, I bore him with long lectures about accountability, responsibility etc. In essence, I do the Ward Cleaver on him to the point where I am thinking he is saying to him-- daddy, just punish me, don't talk me to death!!!! LOL Ok anyway, the perk was a whole chocolate chip cookie, with water (no chocolate milk) and some extra time at the thomas the train set. While he is there, of course I am reading books on parenting and also engaging him. Soon a little African American girl joins him with her mom in tow. Seeing them play and going back and forth with the trains was good for me because again, at his school he really doesn't have that many African American peers. Here is the fun part, a lone white child comes to the trains. He's about six or seven and he approaches the train set but won't play with them. Instead he takes a chair and watches them play, waiting I guess for them to leave. Looking at him and looking at this young girl's mother apparently we were both on the same page. Why is he just doing that-just sitting and waiting. So I take the initiative really trying to mind my words because I don't want offend him. "You know you can play too right," I say. He's respectful but cautious at the same time, saying he knows. Then I look back at the other parent and we both just give each other the look which is pretty much telekinetic. I'm saying to this little Caucasian boy, in my mind of course, get up there and play with them, they're not going to bite you. But again, not to come out of my social space -- I instead just chill and engage the two kids who are playing with the trains. Now eventually he does engage them, but it was almost like he had to make a decision. Do I play with the trains with these black children or do I wait patiently for them to leave? Again this kid is only 6 years old, but apparently he knows or has identified a set of sub codes which apparently are race based. That might make an interesting research question. What are the signifiers of race, when are they learned and when does one learn the social cues regarding the racial hierarchy?