The ABD Status

Waiting... I hate waiting sometimes because it's just like water torture. One drop hitting your head, time, after time, splat, splat, splat. That's were I am now in the phase of my Ph.D. In the month of February, I moved from being a doctoral student to being a Ph.D, candidate. I wish it were like a campaign running for elected office but its not. Its more so the final test. The final hazing right so to speak. For those who don't know exactly how I got here, here is a quick recap. In 2004 I quit working at NCSSM because my mind just simply was thirsty. I no longer could continue making 29K a year having my mind turn completely in to mush. So after getting married, I took my retirement-- some 15k and made the ultimate investment. I used it and with a few other dollars from Uncle Sam, I began my course work at Howard University. I postponed admission to the university in 2003 when I looked in my fiance's eyes and she started crying because she felt if I went to DC and took up residence, she would loose me forever. So after one last year in the place i grew to call one of the nine hells, I began my own odyssey of sorts. The first time I tried to drive back and forth to DC from Durham, I realized after coming home at 2:30 in the AM, driving was not going to happen. So, I became a frequent flyer with Southwest Airlines. Every week for two years, I flew back and forth from Durham to Baltimore. -- Here is how it worked. On Tuesday, at 4:30 AM I would get up, my bag would be packed which included one change of clothes, a laptop computer, textbooks and various notebooks for my courses. So I had two bags, both cary ons. At 5:45, my wife would drive me to the airport. At 6:10 I would arrive and go through check in and airport security. At 6:50 the wheels were up and I was off to Baltimore. Once I touched down in Baltimore, I would then catch what's called the Marc train from BWI to Penn Station in DC. From there I would take the Metro to the Shaw Howard Station, walk form the subway to the communications building. Again with bags. I would be settled in the graduate lounge by 10:30 AM. I would read, correct papers before I submitted them and occasionally eat lunch. The first year was OK. The second year, that was the tester. The sophomore jinx. In fall of 2005, I accumulated a balance, 500 dollars which must be paid or I couldn't register for class. I was under funded and by this time my savings had turned into crumbs. Additionally, I had martial beef to deal with. I grew to call them divorce drills. I remember one so vividly. I left the airport and my wife was a little upset because our money was low and we didn't have enough food in the house. Not good, by this time I was teaching adjunct at a college in Bowie Md. My commute was altered. i would get off the plane, take the Marc to the school where I taught, and then go to my class at Howard. Again back to the divorce drill, I was issued an ultimatum as I was walking across the campus: fix this problem or we are done. OK so I am walking across the campus, with little of no money for myself and now I have a divorce drill hitting me. Again the fall of 2005 saw me at probably one of the worst times emotionally because I was hit with multiple challenges,,cheif among them was I didn't always have a place to stay. There were nights where I slept in my office or the graduate lounge. It was just that rough. Luckily a fellow grad student allowed me to crash on his floor in the grad dorm. There were some weeks I didn't take a shower simply because I was in that type of grind. Another issue was getting paid from this university in Bowie. I was told because I was adjunct, I had to wait to be paid. This did not help my money situation at home. I eventually had to just get foolish -- ignorant to get 1/2 of my paycheck after the football season was over. After surviving the first divorce drill, we decide to purchase a house. OK, so with the added stress of commuting from NC to BWI to DC I am now going to be a home owner. Great. Then we have two clinchers -- life and death. In December of 05 my grandfather who really was more like my dad started to fail in his health. I mean this was pretty dramatic. Also during December-- I had what was called a screening exam. If you failed the screening exam, you were washed out of the program. Then to top things off, after Christmas, we learn we are going to be parents.
2006, I finally get a scholarship allowing me more money to work with. I also get an assistantship that allows for more cash-flow. I'm feeling pretty good to so some degree because despite the fact that again, I carried a balance, I wrote a check to cover it and was able to register for classes and get the needed money. I also decided to take 12 hours as opposed to the recommended 9. One of the classes was at Georgetown where I was one of two blacks in the class. For me this was great because i was able to really test myself. I finished the semester pretty good but I took a ding (a grade of C) for one course because I just couldn't find time to write the paper for the course.
In Sept 2006, I officially became a dad and the pressure really started to hit. I took another adjunct teaching assignment in Raleigh, NC while sitting out for the entire year. I had to get aclemented to family life. In 2007 I went back to school, and completed my course work. In 2008, I sat for my comprehensive exams and passed with distinction. Then in the winter of 2010, I finally became what is called ABD where I had to defend my dissertation proposal. That was like the preleude to the deathmarch. and a half years