The Asswhipping Called Life

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to this thing called life. (prince). As I get older and have more life experiences, certian songs gain new relevance. Let's go crazy, the opening of this post actually are the same opening words to the song mentioned, Lets go crazy. This week particularly the last few days are just kicking me all in the ass. Bruce Lee couldn't throw as many kicks with such accuracy. I signed the lease on my apartment. That was a little psychological drama because I guess this means physically I am starting over. Moving my belongings into a new place pretty much starts to put in motion the finality phase of the fact my marriage is pretty much terminal. It's a hard pill to swallow. That said, coming into the new spot by myself is pretty difficult. Coming into the new spot and having to explain to a three year old that this is where daddy is now staying is even harder. For him, as I'm delivieing one of the hardest messages of my life, on his mind is this, "daddy, can I have your iPhone?" I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. Another odd thing about transition is the fideucary responsibilities linked to it. One still has certian obligations which must be met. Monday's highlight was The Rental Store. When I acquired the livingroom suit for our home, I took on the bill. Fourteen months into the note, their computer wants to have a tizzy and guess whose debit card is in the tizzymill. So, while this is going on I am furious. I didn't authurize the merchant to use that card but they did so anyway. This of course as you can imagine has me propperly pissed. Thinking after talking to the debit card company as well as the merchant would solve the problem common sense is the exception to the rule. Tying to buy air matrice at dark 30 with the debit card it comes up as declined. I felt like such a looser with the price is right horns playing in the background. Talking with these underpaid overworked folks is about as useful as talking to a head of cabage. At least if I didn't like the feed back form the cabage, I could at least boil the cabage for food. I was so mad at the end of that conversation, I figured I would at least have some sastifaction by calling the individual who started this mess. When second tier lenders are involved, sometimes they actually execute collection efforts on their personal cell phones. I was fortunate enough to have this happen to me. So I figured I would return the favor. I called him back on his cell phone at 12:30 am. I think he was shocked because as he answered his phone in the back of his mind I know he was wondering why he would get a business call in the midnight hour. This leads me up to today. Getting up at 8:37, I call the debit card folks again thinking that I would get a diferent response. This without fail is an excercise in futality. It's like a tug of war with my money. As I was calling, I was thinking the call by itself, would be enough to suffice as a dispute. No according to them I have to literally say I am disputing transaction X for them to really do something about it. Well at 11:30, I am hoping at least they the merchant is going to come through and put the money back on my card. Oh yes I forgot to mention I got a call from my attorney this am. When ones attorney calls, the call usually has something to do with money leaving ones pocket. This call, was not an exception to the rule. As it turns out, the money used for the ADR, was like monopoly money. The check bounced and I had to make good on a thousand dollar check by close of business or a warrant for worthless check would be issued and my attorney would have to cover the costs of the check and then my attorney would no longer be my attorney. Laywers have an unbelivable power of pursuasion. They are worse than a rouge Jedi Master because they litterally operate at a level, a layperson, such as myself don't undrstand. They literally know how to legally put your life on permant hold. Lawyers, though I do like mine, are civil gangsters. They are masters of diplomacy who are incidentally liscenced to steal, harass, threaten, and of course, kill. They are good at what they do, but when matters of money and their reputations are concerned, they can and will become
self preserving pretty damn quick. So again, as one could imagine I am comming in my usual last place in the one legged asskicking contest called life. As my great grandma Mary would say, "life everlasting.."