Pulling Back -- Getting Back To Me

The Six Million Dollar Man 3 of 4
Uploaded by RenaudMan. - Watch feature films and entire TV shows.I was told officially by my good friend who also can be a drill sergeant that they are through with my past. This is innuendo for enough screwing around.. This is obviously from a person I respect because I actually was quiet and listened. For me, thats a big one. They pretty much put me beside myself and told me that they were disgusted with me that I am not who I was. You know what, they were and still are right. An analogy to this could be seen with the fictional character Col. Steve Austin in the novel Cyborg and or the telefilm Cyborg: The Six Million Dollar Man. In the novel and the pilot film, the character Austin is the human form of "Humpty Dumpty." As the government steps in to put all the pieces -- his three extremities and a few other organs, including an eye-- he can't seem to put himself back together, emotionally. In the novel and the book, Austin is confronted by his superior (the novel, Dr. Rudy Wells) (the telefilm Oliver Spencer) and for the most part is told where he has been given a second chance, some people don't even have one. For his new prosthetic limbs, the ability to walk, his new arm and ability to physically out preform any human being (at that time at least) he refuses to see potential in himself, at least until he winds up in the desert. In the desert, after he is captured he has to come to terms with the fact the he is still alive, and he does in fact have value. Its here where where one does not see a "super man" but instead a man coming back together with himself. Though he has been altered, in many ways improved, only when he is confronted with death for a second time--(the first was the crash of his experimental aircraft when he lay in the hospital bed trying to commit suicide) did he opt for life instead of death.
In a nutshell, I had a similar conversation (well I was going to say minus the high drama) drama et al just minus the gory special effects. My friend pretty much laid me out on the phone. I really didn't know how bad I was spiraling. I honestly didn't. Now looking at everything-- damn I was and to some degree still am a wreck. At least now I have been called on it. When you have been called on it, you pretty much have no excuse. Either you pull away from the wreck or you need to fully commit to being a wreck. I think last night--might have been the turning point. When my friend told me the only person I needed to vie respect from was my son and now looking at him after a temper tantrum (in which I didn't give into-- he actually does need me. If no one else needs me he actually does. He, actually needs me -- damn he needs me to man up. Ok-- i think I owe my friend a beer or an olive branch... A man barely alive-- we can rebuild him-- we have the technology...better, stronger, faster...